


Epilogue 4: This Is My Message To You

by MauveCat



Category: Endless Summer (Visual Novel)
Genre: Character Death, Family Feels, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29132604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MauveCat/pseuds/MauveCat
Summary: Every end is a beginning.Except for the last one.
Relationships: Diego Soto/Varyyn (Endless Summer)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	Epilogue 4: This Is My Message To You

_Every end is a beginning... except for the last one._

The day is ending. I gaze up at the vivid clouds that shroud the sinking sun as I stand at the outskirts of Elyys’tel. The outskirts are much further from the Great Tree than they once had been. The walk to the beach seems longer than usual, but I trust my walking stick to bear my weight. I will be able to rest soon enough.

I thought I would be alone on the beach, but I am not. There is a single warrior standing watch by the shoreline who turns and salutes me as I make my slow approach from Elyys’tel; even though I have not been elyyshar since long before this young woman’s birth, my people are still kind enough to give me the respect due my former position. At my acknowledging nod, she returns her gaze to the horizon. She does not give any sign that she resents missing the joyous celebration in the city behind us, and I am pleased. She has been trained well and she knows where her duty lies.

And besides that, I am grateful that her attention to duty means that she does not witness the long, painful process of lowering myself to the ground. I ease myself down to the warm, rough sand and slowly rest my aching back against the large, gray rock that was my goal. My walking stick falls to the ground, but I leave it where it lies. I will not need it while I am here. We are old friends, this stone and I. When I climbed it as a child, my grandfather looked as proud as if I had scaled the volcano looming over our island. When I was slightly older, I sat here with my friends, drinking kooma juice (and wine, when we could sneak it past our parents’ watchful eyes) and laughing over our shared jokes. As the leader of my people, I took refuge from my responsibilities here with my husband, with my beloved.

And now… and now I sit here alone, on rough sand that is still warm from the sun that is sinking into the sea to my left. The warmth will fade soon enough, as will the day’s light. As all things fade away.

_“He got all this power from the bite of one spider?” Taari asked in astonishment._

_Diego nodded. “That’s right. Peter became as strong as a spider, and as fast as one, and he could spin webs. From his hands, Homani, so stop laughing.” But Diego looked as amused as the giggling children clustered around him. “And since he could do all these new things, he decided to… ah.…” He frowned, and I knew he was trying to choose words that the children around him could understand. “He decided to use his abilities – that means the things he could do – in order to stop people who wanted to steal, or to hurt others.” The children nodded in understanding and agreement, because what else would a good person do with the gift of power? The warriors who were supposed to be guarding Diego were listening to his stories as well, while pretending not to._

_And I pretended that I was not looking at the way Diego’s slender, swift hands brushed his dark hair out of his face, and I pretended that I was not watching the way the setting sun tinted his coppery skin to an even warmer, softer shade, so much more beautiful than the legendary amber idols that Uqzhaal swore this visitor to our island could reveal to us._

_I watched him, and I wished for something that could never be._

Taari… I tilt my head back against the hard stone, and I sigh. Taari has been gone for many years, lost to the sea that took his parents when he was a small child. But while Taari had been alone before Seraxa adopted him as her own, he left behind a number of children to mourn his passing. He had friends as well. He had so many friends.

I had friends, and so many of them are gone….

No.

All of my friends are gone.

I am not completely alone, of course. The children and the grandchildren of my friends remain, both here and in the wider world beyond our waters. For the past few months, I have been unable to have more than an hour or two of solitude before a well-meaning young person casually stops by to spend a bit of time with me. As for those beyond La Huerta, there is still a celebration every year to mark the anniversary of the Catalysts’ arrival on La Huerta, and it seems that every year it requires more airplanes and more boats to bring their descendants back to our shores.

I wonder how many will come next year? I shiver as a cool breeze blows over me.

_It required all of us to work together, but we finally opened the heavy door of the Elysian Lodge. Tumbling inside to escape the howling cold behind us, I helped Craig close the door and lock it. A simple lock would never keep out the Hydra’s soldiers if they managed to track us through the storm, but a simple lock was all we had. None of us had the strength to look for anything to bar the door or to search for a more secure hiding place. All we could do was hope that we would be safe until morning._

_I was not sure who coaxed fire out of the hearth against the wall, but soon enough there were whispers of warmth against our frozen skin. Diego was sitting on the floor, cursing under his breath as he tried to force his stiff fingers to remove his shoes. Sitting down beside him, I helped him before removing my own sodden boots._

_“I couldn’t find enough for all of us.” I looked up at Sean; judging by his expression, it seemed as if he blamed himself for the small pile of blankets in his arms._

_“One will be enough,” I told him; it was thick and soft, and it would be large enough to keep Diego warm, I thought. I could feel Taylor’s eyes on me, and I could feel the brush of her unpracticed mind against my own. We had fought against Cetus together and we had triumphed together. But while she might trust me with her life, she did not trust me with her best friend._

_I could not blame her for that. All I could do was reassure her that Diego was safe with me, and I hoped that I was concealing my heartache from her. From the tender, regretful way she withdrew from my mind, I knew that I failed._

_With a sigh, I draped the soft blanket over Diego and urged him to lie down. I would wait for him to sleep before I left. I was the elyyshar; I had sworn to protect the Catalysts as they found a way back to their own world. It was my duty to watch for enemies. It was my duty to watch Diego leave my world forever._

_I watched him relax, watched his long dark lashes flutter lower, lower…. I was not prepared for him to sit up abruptly, and I was certainly not prepared for him to fling the blanket over my legs and pull me down beside him. “But – but I want you to be warm.” I blushed at the way I stammered, at the way I immediately returned his embrace._

_Diego rested his head against my shoulder and he muttered peevishly, “How warm will I be if you shiver all night?” Before I could form words into a sensible protest, he was asleep, his breath warm and slow and soft against my chest. And then I realized that he had spoken to me in my language, not his own; our exchange was meant for the two of us alone._

_I should not have stayed. I should have waited until he was more deeply asleep, and then I should have slipped away to carry out my duty. But… I stayed. I stayed because I did not know what the next day would bring, or the next night, but I accepted that this night would certainly be my only opportunity to hold him in my arms as he slept. And as badly as I wanted to remain awake and burn the memory into my mind, I found my breath falling into the pattern of his, and I eased into a dreamless sleep._

The only night… I cannot keep the soft smile from my lips. What if I had known then that it was merely our first night? Would I have still struggled to remain alert, or would I have allowed myself to immediately fall into Diego’s comfort and his warmth, confident that there would be many more nights, and days as well, to follow?

What if I had been aware of when our last night together had arrived?

We had so many nights, Diego and I, closer to eighty years’ worth then seventy. It had not been enough.

It could never have been enough.

“There you are. The celebration is not nearly over yet, you know. The child is asleep but I think he is the only one.” I look around as Xiraana walks toward me through the twilight. “There is still so much food left – will you come back to the Great Tree and help us eat it?” I smile as my dearest friends’ daughter slowly sits down beside me, careful of her own aches and pains. Her hair is long now, as brown and dry as my own, and it is uncovered by the elyyshar’s veil she set aside several years ago – just as I removed my feathered crown many years before that. “There is still almost all of a roast boar, and I know how fond you are of that.”

_“But… an elyyshar has never retired, not in all our history,” Xiraana said in confusion._

_“An elyyshar has never lived long enough, or had peace enough, to have a choice,” I told her, as kindly as possible. Diego was at my side, and Mauri and Paravet were with us in our private quarters behind the throne room. My grandfather died of age and the weakness that time brought to his heart, and my mother fell in battle and died in my arms. Grandfather should have been able to spend his last years fishing and surfing, and Mother should have enjoyed going hunting and long, sun-filled afternoons with her sewing. Unlike them, I had the luxury of choosing a different fate – my own fate. “This is the right decision for me, little bird, and it is the right decision for our people.” Our numbers were growing rapidly; Elyys’tel was becoming crowded and there was even a small colony on Sharktooth Island, established by our artists and our artisans. Miraculously, even Quarr’tel was coming back to life. My people were changing and it was time for a new kind of elyyshar. It was Xiraana’s time._

_She shook her head and looked at her parents. “I’ll support you in any way I can, Mother, but….” She trailed off as Paravet gave her a level stare._

_“I am the same age as Varyyn, daughter.” Paravet’s voice was kind and firm. “If he feels that he is too old, I am no younger.”_

_After a few moments, Mauri laughed. “And I know that it would never even occur to you that I should take up the crown.”_

_Xiraana stared at all of us wildly as she began to understand. “But – I am not ready!”_

_“You are nearly ten years older than I was when I became elyyshar, and I had no time to prepare.” Beneath the table, Diego took my hand. “I will not remove my crown for several months yet. You will sit by my side during that time, and you will learn and prepare yourself.”_

_Xiraana got to her feet and began pacing. “But there is Halaun, and there is Doryyn. What about them?”_

_“Your brothers are both fine men, and they have many skills and many gifts. Leadership is not among them. If I considered all the young people in Elyys’tel – in all of the cities and villages of the island – you would still be my choice.”_

_“But... I enjoy my position now,” Xiraana said, almost pleading. “You said yourself that I am nearly as good as Seraxa was. Could I remain war chief for just a few more years?”_

_“I will help you select a new one,” I replied gently._

_After looking at me and at our friends, Diego got to his feet. “Come with me, mija – let’s go walk this off.”_

_She did not resist when Diego took her hand and led her from the room. “What will I say to Hilanni?”_

_Diego shrugged. “She already has some ideas on moving the furniture around in here.”_

_“But... wait. Hilanni knows what is happening? Before I learned about it? She... she knows more than I do?”_

_“Yep. She usually will. I already talked to her because you’re going to need her, and this won’t work unless she’s ready too. There are going to be a lot of people who go to her before they approach you with their ideas, to figure out if you’ll listen to them. Get used to it, and rely on her judgment.” I had to laugh at the truth of Diego’s words, and he turned in the doorway to wink at me._

“...and there are still huge bowls of your favorite candied fruits, and... Varyyn? Varyyn, are you listening to me?”

Tearing my eyes away from the night sky, I give Xiraana a smile and I hope it will remove the concern from her eyes. “I was just remembering... when I was first learning Diego’s language, I was sure that his name meant ‘night.’ I knew the meaning of _day_ , and of _go_ , and it made sense to me that combining the words would lead to _night_. Even when I learned that I was wrong, I suppose that was always how I thought of him. Night suited him.” Diego was dark, and he was gentle and warm – how could I have gone so many months before I realized that I loved him? I smile more widely when Xiraana rests her head on my shoulder. “And right now, you are wondering how many times you have heard that story.”

“I could hear it a thousand more times this night alone, and it would not be enough,” she answers at once. “I remember that song he always sang to me, and to my brothers.” She laughs. “And how Father always said that the song meant that he and Mother were fated to have three children, their three little birds.” She begins humming, and I join in.

_Xiraana had been wailing and screaming for hours, and Diego and I were taking our turns soothing her and singing to her and walking her around the room as her parents tried to rest, as Paravet whimpered in exhaustion that she was a failure as a mother. Mauri and I whispered to each other that perhaps we should summon Paravet’s mother, or one of her sisters, or a healer, or anyone who might know why the baby would not stop crying... then, as one, we realized that the room was silent except for Diego’s soft singing. We all gaped at him as he stared at the sleeping infant in his arms, and he whispered, “So... I can never put her down or shut up, right?”_

“Do not worry about a thing,” I whisper as I squeeze Xiraana’s hand, hoping that she understands the message I am trying to send her.

“Every little thing will be all right,” she sighs. “I miss him. Do you think... are you sure he would not mind?” she asks, with a glance back at the city.

I smile. “He would not mind. It is the way of his people to give children the names of their honored ancestors, of their dearest friends.” I have always cherished the way the Catalysts named their children, the way the chosen names wove a web of love to bind them all together. “He would be pleased.”

“He would cry, I think.”

“Well, of course he would cry. But he would also be pleased.”

Xiraana manages to laugh. “I still find it hard to believe that my little brother is a great-grandfather.”

“How do you think _I_ feel?” Xiraana’s laugh grows more genuine at the false outrage in my voice. I want to join her, but my mind wanders back to my laughter the day before, when little Moralet held her arms up to me and begged me to lift her so she could see her new cousin. My arms no longer have the strength to hold even a small child, so all I could do was tug her hair and tease her about how quickly she was growing. I joined in her laughter as her parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles exchanged worried looks. The laughter is what I choose to remember, and I hope Moralet will as well.

For nearly eighty years, there was a Diego who lived among the Vaanti. For four months, there was not. And for the past three days, there has once again been a Diego among us.

It is time.

My fingers are stiff, but I manage to open the pouch at my waist, and I remove an old silver chain. I press it into Xiraana’s hand. “Here. From one Diego to the next.”

She looks at the object in her hands. “Diego’s necklace,” she breathes. Her finger traces the image of a man carrying a child on his shoulder.

I nod. “His grandmother gave it to him. When the little one is old enough, give this necklace to him. Be sure that he understands how precious it is, and how precious his name is.”

“But... are you sure?”

“I am, because this too would please Diego.”

_Diego always took pleasure in caring for my hair, and I took joy in his pleasure. Even when his fingers grew slow and stiff, both from the old scars on his hand and the painful swelling of his joints, this was his most treasured task, and somehow, I think he enjoyed it more when it took more of his time._

_It was always his second task of the day. First would come our customary, ritualized squabble over which of us would leave our bed to open the curtains. We both had our excuses at the ready and most mornings, he would eventually roll his eyes and give in._

_One morning, he did not roll his eyes, and he did not give in. He sighed instead, and he rested his head on my shoulder, and he told me his feet were cold. I nearly laughed at him – how could his feet be cold in the warmest days of summer? But then I took his hand, and it was cold as well. As cold as my heart grew at the iciness in his skin._

_I did not know what to do at first. I could not leave his side, absolutely not. But how could I call for help without alarming him? I finally remembered that I was no longer the only mind-talker in Elyys’tel – our people were so much more numerous than they had ever been, all of our cities so much more full – and I begged for assistance with my mind. A healer was by our side in minutes, and Xiraana was not far behind._

_I waited for the healer – trained well in the knowledge shared first by Michelle and later by Ellery, all the knowledge that allowed our healers to care for Diego – to sit back with a reassuring smile. He did not. He said nothing to me. He did not need to. Instead, he pulled Xiraana aside, and I did not try to listen to their whispers, or to see Xiraana’s tears. I sat in my bed with my husband in my arms, feeling for the first time how much thinner he had become, and I remembered all the times in the past few months that people urged him to eat more, how they brought him his favorite dishes... and how he almost always accepted only a small portion, if that._

_How could I have been so blind to the changes in his body? As I asked myself the question, I knew the answer. He had been the center of my world for so many decades and my eyes saw him as he was in my heart, young and strong and beautiful._

_The healer left, and I was barely aware of Xiraana’s voice as she spoke on her phone. I knew she was talking to Reggie, still her best friend after more than seventy years. I heard Reggie’s tear-choked voice as Xiraana’s shaking hand held the phone to Diego’s ear... and after long moments of silence, I heard Diego whisper, “Love you too, Reg. Love you all. Tell them.”_

_Halaun was with us by then, as was Elyyshar Daavi. He was a solemn man who rarely smiled and rarely wept, so unlike his father Doryyn. But he was passionately interested in the growth of cities, and how to manage the hunting and the harvests to ensure that everyone had enough. He was the elyyshar that the Vaanti needed. Estela and Taylor’s granddaughter, a leader among her own people, was a particular friend of his; although he never spoke of it, I knew they were laying a pathway to the time when the Vaanti revealed ourselves to that other world. But for now, Daavi stood against the wall, silently bearing witness as Xiraana and Halaun sat on the end of the bed. They once sat there as children, laughing and listening to the stories that Diego told. Now they were silent and they left a space between them._

_Just as I began to fear that the middle space would remain empty, Doryyn appeared in the doorway, breathing as heavily as if he had run all the way from Quarr’tel Reborn, rather than taking one of the fast boats he loved. He stood there, his shoulders heaving, and he wiped the tears from his face. Then, climbing over his sister to claim his usual spot, he took a deep breath and in a strong, clear voice, he began telling a story about a young woman who went to live with a being she thought was a monster, but who revealed himself as her dearest love._

_And they lived happily ever after._

_When Doryyn’s voice fell to a hushed whisper, and then to nothing, we sat in silence as well. The city around us was quiet. I already knew the emptiness that my people were feeling. Diego was the first Catalyst to become known to us, and he was the last. Whatever religious reverence the Vaanti might have once given him had faded long ago, replaced by love and affection for his own sake. What would they do without him? Instead of Elyys’tel’s usual bustle and noise, all we could hear was soft music, one song starting as soon as the last finished. The musicians played songs that Diego learned from us and loved, and songs that he taught to us, and that we loved. There was so much love in his heart, and he never held back from sharing it._

_We learned so much from each other._

_Finally, Diego’s breath began to catch in his chest. I could not speak, but the children could see the truth in my face. They all stood and, sobbing, they embraced Diego and murmured words of love from our language and his. They slowly left the room, Doryyn leaning heavily on the arm of his weeping son._

_We were alone._

_Soon, I would be alone._

_Then, without warning, Diego’s eyes flew open and he stared up at me. My heart leapt in joy, but before I could scold him for worrying me without cause, he said, with great difficulty, “But... who’s going to braid your hair for you?”_

_That was when my tears finally fell, because I understood two things: Diego was aware that his death was approaching, and his last thoughts were not of himself. With a difficulty as harsh as his had been, I croaked, “Hilanni is nearby, and Fialen. They are both very good with hair. And if... if they are not nearby, I can still braid it myself, my love.”_

_Diego shook his head. “But, Varyyn... you’re really not any good at it, sweetheart.” His eyes closed, and his breath and his spirit slipped away._

“Well, if you will not go back with me to help with our feast, I will have it brought to you.” With a groan, Xiraana stretches out her leg and rubs her knee. “This cursed thing bothers me more every day.”

Fumbling beside me, my fingers finally brush against my walking stick. “Here. You can use this,” I tell her as I place it in her hand. “It is strong, and it will support you.”

She laughs. “But what will you use? It will be awkward for us to share it.”

“We... will not need to share it.”

She stares at me, the smile slipping from her lips and her eyes. Then she is standing – without using the stick, the ungrateful child – and calling the young warrior over to us. I hear her say her brothers’ names, and I hear the fleet steps of the warrior as she runs to Elyys’tel.

I know that she will not be returning with roast boar or candied fruit. Just as well. That is not what I long for.

I realize that Xiraana is seated beside me once again. She swallows hard as she takes my hand in both of hers and kisses it. In a rough voice, she whispers, “Mother’s strength, and Father’s laughter, and Diego’s warmth, and your wisdom... my brothers and I were so fortunate to have parents such as you.”

It is difficult to move, but I lean over to kiss her forehead. “No more fortunate than we were, little bird, to have children such as all of you. And everything _will_ be all right, the little things and the big things. Make sure your brothers know that.”

I look at the ocean. The waves are brushing against the shore, and in their whispers I hear the voices of those I have loved. There is my grandfather, and my mother... another voice mixes with hers. Could it belong to the father I have always yearned to meet? I hope that it is. Seraxa and Taari are together. I am glad that the mother and son who found each other once have been reunited. I hear Paravet and Mauri... good. They are together as well. I wonder if they have been keeping Diego company, as they once watched over me while I waited for my husband’s return?

There is a voice that I do not hear, and I drag my eyes away from the ocean. My vision is blurring and I cannot see the silent stars in the dark sky. The spirits of my people sway in the ocean surrounding us, and the spirits of Diego’s people soar in the clouds above.

Where will Diego and I reside? Where will we meet, in the air or in the sea?

My eyelids are growing heavy. I squeeze Xiraana’s hand and I let my eyes close. I can hear Halaun and Doryyn now, but I cannot feel them. My heart seems to be beating in a slow circle, and my head is spinning faster and faster. There is a pounding in my ears that drowns out all other sound.

_The dancers whirled around the square, and Diego and I were among them. He learned the steps of the dance quickly; his hand, his body grazed against mine before he was taken away again by the music and the pounding drums._

_No. We had been apart for too long, and I could not wait any longer. I would not let the dance, or anything else, separate us for another heartbeat._

_The path of the dance brought us close again but rather than allowing our bodies to merely brush together, I seized his hand – smaller than mine, but so strong – and pulled him out of the pattern. We fell together against the base of the Great Tree, laughing and trying to catch our breath. I stared down at his head where it rested against my shoulder, into his dark, sparkling eyes. Then, leaning close, I whispered, “For months, my arms, my heart, and my body have been empty. Now my heart and my arms are full.”_

_Diego’s face flushed, and oh, how I loved the color that the heat and desire brought to his skin. “So that would leave...?”_

_“Yes.”_

_We sneaked away from the celebration, keeping to the shadows and giggling like misbehaving children. When we were in my rooms, in our rooms, we stood together, embracing. I buried my face in his soft hair and I said, “My heart beat while you were away – I spoke, and I ate, and I did what I was required to do. But I did not live.”_

_Diego’s arms tightened around me. “Neither did I. I missed you every second I was awake, and you were the only thing I ever dreamed about. I’m here now. We’re together.”_

_“For eternity.”_

For eternity.

The coolness of the night has faded, and there is warmth on my skin again. But... the sunrise should be on my right shoulder, and the warmth seems to be surrounding me from all directions. Is the sun high in the sky already? How long did I sleep?

Slowly, I become aware of swift, agile hands weaving quickly through my hair. Feeling the same comfort that I once knew upon sinking into my bed, I know where the warmth is coming from. “I _told_ you that you were lousy at this. What were you using to comb your hair, a cactus?”

My eyes remain shut as I relax into the familiar sensation. “I thought I did a good job.”

“Yeah, well, you were _wrong_ , sweetheart. So, so wrong.” Diego hums softly to himself as he tends to my hair. “They named the baby after me, huh? That’s nice.”

I straighten my back without pain for the first time in many years. There is sand beneath me, warm and rough, and I can hear the distant harmonious songs of countless birds. Further away, I hear the voices of our waiting friends. There are no wings at my shoulders, but I can sense their potential. “Yes. Seeing as the child is only quiet when he is asleep, the name seemed to fit him.”

“Oh, very funny. You finally get here and the first thing you do is give me grief.”

“You started it.”

“Did not. I just told the truth.” I can hear the sweet laughter in my beloved’s voice. With a smile of my own, I take a deep breath and I open my eyes to eternity.

_Rise up this morning_

_Smile with the rising sun_

_Three little birds_

_Pitch by my doorstep_

_Singing sweet songs_

_Of melodies pure and true:_

_This is my message to you._

_Bob Marley, “Three Little Birds”_

**Author's Note:**

> And so we come full circle. I started with Varyyn, and I'm ending with him.
> 
> I still have story notions but not a singer over-arching theme, so any stories after this will be random standalones. A lot of them will deal with Diego and Varyyn because I love them so damn much.


End file.
